


It Cannot Be Forever

by Songstress21 (Cantatrice18)



Category: Eugene Onegin - Tchaikovsky, Yevgeniy Onegin | Eugene Onegin - Alexander Pushkin
Genre: Epilogue, F/M, Internal Monologue, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 13:38:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cantatrice18/pseuds/Songstress21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the hours after Onegin's final meeting with Tatyana, he reflects on all that has happened. Will a man of his character choose to give her up and back away gracefully or will he instead pursue her despite her wishes?</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Cannot Be Forever

It cannot be over. Not now, when I’ve just learned to feel again. My heart, so hollow after Lensky’s death, has shattered like a mirror, each tiny piece reflecting her beauty. How could I have been so blind? When she offered herself to me I thought of her as an overeager child, too rustic and foolish to know the difference between a fancy and true love. But it seems I was the fool, not she. All women before this have meant nothing, less than nothing. Her words…I can barely remember them as they were written on the page, but I recall my surprise at her simple eloquence. To see her now, regal and serene, perfectly polished into a society hostess…it seems like something from a storybook, a princess of the Steppes. But my cousin is no Prince Charming, for all his adoration of her. I do not begrudge the old man his happiness: he served the nation well in times of war, he deserves to live out his life peacefully, perhaps even make a little family should he feel so inclined. But not with her. Not with my Tatyana. She has admitted her love for me, I have heard her say the blessed words “I love you” and she cannot take the words back. I shall not rest until I have her, or I die in the attempt, for surely there is no greater thing than to die for love. Lensky, God rest his soul, understood that. I can never forgive myself for the injustice of that winter's morning, of that shot fired without thought for the consequences, but I can learn from Lensky in death what I never could in life. I see the world the way he did now, I understand how a deep enough passion could drive a man to his death for the love of a woman. Yet this will not be a Goethe tragedy, and I shall not sorrow away like young Werther, one step away from my beloved. If I am to succeed, then patience and calculation are paramount. I have no shame, not anymore, and I will use every resource in my power. If she can love me despite everything I have done to her, then surely she can still be won. Let the world revile me, let me lose my fortune and title if need be. So long as she loves me I am saved, and the world can go to hell.


End file.
